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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jan 14, 2021 10:44:14 GMT
It's sad your parents are arguing. My parents lived in total silence from when I was about 5. It was a horrible atmosphere in the house - I hated it. That may be why I haven't had children - I've always wanted to get away from family life stuff. Wouldn't like that, at least an occasional screaming match can be cathartic. Silence breeds gloom, not at all good for kids. Sorry to hear it. Thanks. Exactly it - gloom. Freedom and light are my biggest motivators in life and I'm sure it came from that. For example, I prefer renting so I can go wherever and whenever I want and the first thing I look for in a place is how big the windows are. If light doesn't flood in, I'm not interested. Funny how things influence you.
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jan 14, 2021 10:46:02 GMT
You last sentence - that's exactly it - what if I brought children into a world that was like the world I grew up in? I wouldn't want that for anyone. Hence, I have just steered clear. One thing I have noticed is that all of my friends look about 10 years older than me as a result of having children. Ha! Depends on the kids, I put about 30 years on my folks I'm sad to say, my kid has only put about 5 on me. Bit of a tearaway, were you...?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 11:12:53 GMT
Same here. My mother argued with my father. Always. My mother argues, other people have sex. I remember entering the house once and the atmosphere was like ice and that is how you knew they were both at home. My mother continues to argue with my stepfather. My mother argues, other people have sex. It's like a biochemical thing with her. You can regulate your calender with her urges to fight. The fourth day it is. But the same thing with children applies also to me. Psychologist say that you go through a transcendence when you have children and it gives you the opportunity to live it over again and change it for the better. To live it over again part is all I needed to hear and I was done. I cannot tell you what is worse, though, having your parents argue all the time or not speaking at all. Both suck and both are evidence of immaturity. And kids get to pay the price. Never wanted to impose that shit on anybody. You last sentence - that's exactly it - what if I brought children into a world that was like the world I grew up in? I wouldn't want that for anyone. Hence, I have just steered clear. One thing I have noticed is that all of my friends look about 10 years older than me as a result of having children. Ha! You bet. That's the stress of having to deal with terrorists. And I've got one to top that. When I was buying cigarettes with a mask, I was asked to show my ID, they weren't sure I was old enough.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 11:15:22 GMT
Wouldn't like that, at least an occasional screaming match can be cathartic. Silence breeds gloom, not at all good for kids. Sorry to hear it. Thanks. Exactly it - gloom. Freedom and light are my biggest motivators in life and I'm sure it came from that. For example, I prefer renting so I can go wherever and whenever I want and the first thing I look for in a place is how big the windows are. If light doesn't flood in, I'm not interested. Funny how things influence you. Buying a house? Being tied and committed to that your whole life? Thanks, but no thanks. Light is an anti-depressant.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 11:15:54 GMT
You last sentence - that's exactly it - what if I brought children into a world that was like the world I grew up in? I wouldn't want that for anyone. Hence, I have just steered clear. One thing I have noticed is that all of my friends look about 10 years older than me as a result of having children. Ha! Depends on the kids, I put about 30 years on my folks I'm sad to say, my kid has only put about 5 on me. What does that mean?
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jan 14, 2021 11:20:01 GMT
Thanks. Exactly it - gloom. Freedom and light are my biggest motivators in life and I'm sure it came from that. For example, I prefer renting so I can go wherever and whenever I want and the first thing I look for in a place is how big the windows are. If light doesn't flood in, I'm not interested. Funny how things influence you. Buying a house? Being tied and committed to that your whole life? Thanks, but no thanks. Light is an anti-depressant. Exactly. And the opposite - lack of light is a depressant, in my view.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2021 11:24:08 GMT
Same here. My mother argued with my father. Always. My mother argues, other people have sex. I remember entering the house once and the atmosphere was like ice and that is how you knew they were both at home. My mother continues to argue with my stepfather. My mother argues, other people have sex. It's like a biochemical thing with her. You can regulate your calender with her urges to fight. The fourth day it is. But the same thing with children applies also to me. Psychologist say that you go through a transcendence when you have children and it gives you the opportunity to live it over again and change it for the better. To live it over again part is all I needed to hear and I was done. I cannot tell you what is worse, though, having your parents argue all the time or not speaking at all. Both suck and both are evidence of immaturity. And kids get to pay the price. Never wanted to impose that shit on anybody. You last sentence - that's exactly it - what if I brought children into a world that was like the world I grew up in? I wouldn't want that for anyone. Hence, I have just steered clear. One thing I have noticed is that all of my friends look about 10 years older than me as a result of having children. Ha! Which is what one is most likely to do. Never gave it a chance.
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Post by yggdrasil on Jan 14, 2021 13:06:19 GMT
Depends on the kids, I put about 30 years on my folks I'm sad to say, my kid has only put about 5 on me. Bit of a tearaway, were you...? Not robbing or anything but liked the narcotics in the 70's a bit too much. Would often disappear from home for a few days and then reappear with them thinking I was dead or something.
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Post by yggdrasil on Jan 14, 2021 13:08:29 GMT
Depends on the kids, I put about 30 years on my folks I'm sad to say, my kid has only put about 5 on me. What does that mean?He hasn't been much trouble. A good lad.
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Post by Power Ranger on Jan 23, 2021 9:10:46 GMT
Been married for over 3 and a half decades and wouldn't have it any other way. Don't need a bit of paper though and the "institution" may be outdated unless you are religious. So nice to have someone to share life with, though. Hmm, smells like lavender.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2021 9:47:02 GMT
No. Absolutely no. I don't want to get married. It would take a lot to make me change that. Basically marrying would have to mean that I am better off married (maybe with children) than right now. I don't see that happen. It was the quarantine that showed me once again how comfy my ass is, learning about the difficulties one has with children. The visit of my parents didn't exactly improve things, as they are constantly at each other's throats. And they are not an exception. The pandemic put a lot of relationships to test. It's sad your parents are arguing. My parents lived in total silence from when I was about 5. It was a horrible atmosphere in the house - I hated it. That may be why I haven't had children - I've always wanted to get away from family life stuff. Still and again happy that I don't have to deal with that family stuff. My neighbor broke up with her bf of four years. He had a kid and the stuff she tells me. My God. Why deal with that? Why impose that on yourself? Not to mention how the break up happened. That is one of the ugliest break up stories I have ever heard. Lies, lies and more lies. Why not be straight up and honest about you and your life? Why not tell your gf that you don't have the feelings anymore and tell her that there is somebody new and you are not sure? Instead tell her that you go to rehab and will be there the next months? Unbelievable.
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Post by ayatollah on Dec 1, 2021 21:07:36 GMT
I'm very happy being married but I know that isn't everyone's experience.
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Dec 1, 2021 21:18:28 GMT
Holy moley, was this thread a year ago??
(Rhetorical; obviously it was, no smart arse replies required, thank you.)
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2021 21:22:24 GMT
Holy moley, was this thread a year ago?? (Rhetorical; obviously it was, no smart arse replies required, thank you.) Like how I had a panic attack when I was proposed the first time?
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Post by ayatollah on Dec 1, 2021 23:22:58 GMT
Holy moley, was this thread a year ago?? (Rhetorical; obviously it was, no smart arse replies required, thank you.) Like how I had a panic attack when I was proposed the first time? Someone proposed to you or you did the proposing?
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