IMDB Poster Top News! 11.22.24
Nov 22, 2024 14:21:45 GMT
hugsfromlv426, Power Ranger, and 6 more like this
Post by OfUnknownOrigins on Nov 22, 2024 14:21:45 GMT
The news is in! The dicks and tits are erect! Here are your latest headlines.
Undead terrorizer Dracula was rushed to a hospital in Transylvania after drinking heroin addicts blood again and contracting Hepatitis B, AIDS, Herpes, and erectile dysfunction disorder. His ex-wife, who insists he’s always had E.D. and is now back with her former lover Frankenstein, is at his bedside. Dracula released a statement this morning vowing to continue drinking “whatever damned blood I want, puny humans.”
Portuguese bad boy and nudist Harry Skywalker has faced court this week on prostitution charges. Mr Skywalker responded to the prosecutor with “No, YOU IDIOT offered to perform fellatio on an undercover police officer whilst dressed as a woman.”
A man accused of having sex with a cougar in Iowa, mr_self , found his legal troubles deepening when his chickens accused him of sexual assault as well. The chickens accused him of unnecessary fondling and forcing them to defecate on his chest. Boricanator , an attorney from Boston known to defend chicken fondlers, has flown out to Iowa and will defend him in court, so long as he introduces him to the farmer’s wives and his chickens.
Florida Man Olaf Plunket was voted most annoying man alive in a ceremony presided by fellow Florida Man hugsfromlv426 . Mr Hugs noted Plunket’s remarkable ability to be unlikeable to virtually every human who had ever met him. Plunket was honored and planned to “keep being an asshole to everyone I meet.”
A Wyoming man, drystyx , was found wandering a highway using his walker spouting profanities and warning of the end of the world. Police said he appeared delirious and believed he may have been on an illicit drug. When he was returned to the mental asylum the officials there insisted that’s just his normal state of mind and apologized for him urinating in the police vehicle.
In romance news Hairynosedwombat and Prince Myshkin have tied the knot in a ceremony in Sydney this week. The couple met online on an anti-Israel forum last year. Mr Wombat described his new wife “as the best looking man I’ve ever seen and a true power bottom.” The ceremony was attended by local jihadists and university students.
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