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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 10:57:46 GMT
We had a disagreement about a point.
I said it was this, he said it was that. Reasonable enough.
When I suggested we void that game, he started ranting that I was being smug because I was thrashing him (it was 3 games to 1 to me) and he worked himself up so much he got his stuff and walked off.
After a few minutes, I decided to go for a piss and he was there in the changing rooms. I went up to him and said "truce?" and he mumbled "going to get some fresh air" and walked out.
What the fuck? It's just a game.
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Post by america on Jun 26, 2022 11:28:19 GMT
Looks like you have a choice to make between being less stubbornly smug or having one less friend. Definitely not about the game, at that point.
Next time offer to replay/void the point, not the game.
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 11:40:07 GMT
Looks like you have a choice to make between being less stubbornly smug or having one less friend. Definitely not about the game, at that point. Next time offer to replay/void the point, not the game. I was not smug. I was genuinely trying to find a resolution to a disagreement. And you are right - it wasn't about the game - he has issues with me. This is the second time this has happened. Even my other squash friend says he's so sensitive. I can't deal with it. I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court, but it's fun. |
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Post by america on Jun 26, 2022 11:47:29 GMT
Looks like you have a choice to make between being less stubbornly smug or having one less friend. Definitely not about the game, at that point. Next time offer to replay/void the point, not the game. I was not smug. I was genuinely trying to find a resolution to a disagreement. And you are right - it wasn't about the game - he has issues with me. This is the second time this has happened. Even my other squash friend says he's so sensitive. I can't deal with it. I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court, but it's fun. Try texting him exactly that last part and then ask him to lunch or a beer so you two can compartmentalize your game play. Like this: "I'm sorry I ruined our match but the fact is I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court. Unavoidable. Buy you a beer or lunch so we can have our friend-time off the court and you can continue to suffer my smugness on the court?" Irresistible. He might want to fuck you. I would, but then I'm really keen on my own writing when given a good topic. |
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Post by bartlesby on Jun 26, 2022 11:48:23 GMT
It's a basic observation but it sounds to me like he takes winning too seriously because it's tied to his self-esteem. That is to say, for you it's a game, but for him, it's symbolic of how well he can do at anything and he fixates on it.
About the only thing you can do in that situation is let them get some wins without letting them know you're doing it. They make for poor sports otherwise.
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 11:57:23 GMT
It's a basic observation but it sounds to me like he takes winning too seriously because it's tied to his self-esteem. That is to say, for you it's a game, but for him, it's symbolic of how well he can do at anything and he fixates on it. About the only thing you can do in that situation is let them get some wins without letting them know you're doing it. They make for poor sports otherwise. There's no way I'm throwing a game. I joined a league last month and I've had three matches so far and they all thrashed me. I didn't cry and storm off. |
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 11:58:16 GMT
I was not smug. I was genuinely trying to find a resolution to a disagreement. And you are right - it wasn't about the game - he has issues with me. This is the second time this has happened. Even my other squash friend says he's so sensitive. I can't deal with it. I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court, but it's fun. Try texting him exactly that last part and then ask him to lunch or a beer so you two can compartmentalize your game play. Like this: "I'm sorry I ruined our match but the fact is I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court. Unavoidable. Buy you a beer or lunch so we can have our friend-time off the court and you can continue to suffer my smugness on the court?" Irresistible. He might want to fuck you. I would, but then I'm really keen on my own writing when given a good topic. That's actually pretty good but I didn't ruin the match. He did. |
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Post by bartlesby on Jun 26, 2022 11:59:35 GMT
It's a basic observation but it sounds to me like he takes winning too seriously because it's tied to his self-esteem. That is to say, for you it's a game, but for him, it's symbolic of how well he can do at anything and he fixates on it. About the only thing you can do in that situation is let them get some wins without letting them know you're doing it. They make for poor sports otherwise. There's no way I'm throwing a game. I joined a league last month and I've had three matches so far and they all thrashed me. I didn't cry and storm off. Then what do you care? Either you care about the squash or you care about what this guy thinks. |
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 12:02:50 GMT
There's no way I'm throwing a game. I joined a league last month and I've had three matches so far and they all thrashed me. I didn't cry and storm off. Then what do you care? Either you care about the squash or you care about what this guy thinks. I care because he's my friend and I don't like to piss people off. It doesn't matter who was wrong or right, I just don't like that. |
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Post by bartlesby on Jun 26, 2022 12:03:23 GMT
Then what do you care? Either you care about the squash or you care about what this guy thinks. I care because he's my friend and I don't like to piss people off. It doesn't matter who was wrong or right, I just don't like that. Then go apologize to him. |
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Jun 26, 2022 12:04:23 GMT
I care because he's my friend and I don't like to piss people off. It doesn't matter who was wrong or right, I just don't like that. Then go apologize to him. Why? He was the dick, not me. |
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Post by america on Jun 26, 2022 12:05:07 GMT
Try texting him exactly that last part and then ask him to lunch or a beer so you two can compartmentalize your game play. Like this: "I'm sorry I ruined our match but the fact is I'm a fucking bombastic bullshitting cunt on the court. Unavoidable. Buy you a beer or lunch so we can have our friend-time off the court and you can continue to suffer my smugness on the court?" Irresistible. He might want to fuck you. I would, but then I'm really keen on my own writing when given a good topic. That's actually pretty good but I didn't ruin the match. He did. I know. The text is marketing. You want the friend, right? Even though he's a sensitive pain in the arse, I don't imagine you'd have made this thread if you didn't want to keep him as a buddy. He takes issue with your confidence, you with his sensitivity, so you meet somewhere in the middle even if it's closer to his side. That way you keep the friendship. Make little compromises, tell a little lie out of love. I hear you're a smug and hearty enough cunt to bear the extra weight of boosting him up. |
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Post by bartlesby on Jun 26, 2022 12:05:40 GMT
Then go apologize to him. Why? He was the dick, not me. Oh? You weren't the dick at all, eh? I find that hard to believe. |
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Post by mowlick on Jun 26, 2022 12:27:03 GMT
Irresistible. He might want to fuck you. I would, but then I'm really keen on my own writing when given a good topic.
Good point.
Nothing that can't be settled with a handshake or a pot of Vaseline ![[thumbsup]](http://storage.proboards.com/6870873/images/JTWDGX0WSTuhvZHmeENd.gif) |
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Post by america on Jun 26, 2022 12:35:58 GMT
Irresistible. He might want to fuck you. I would, but then I'm really keen on my own writing when given a good topic. Good point. Nothing that can't be settled with a handshake or a pot of Vaseline ![[thumbsup]](http://storage2.proboards.com/6870873/images/JTWDGX0WSTuhvZHmeENd.gif) Thank you! Indeed. mowlick, my savior, my sponsor, my hero. Leave me these, my illusions slight exaggerations, just never leave this forum behind. ![[huddle]](http://storage2.proboards.com/6870873/images/iSYkhOYfeUTNGpIWgmwG.gif) |
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