OT. A Tribute to Sonja.

As some of you might have already worked out, my wife has died and my heart is breaking. I have shared the complete story with only one poster on the board, SixOfTheRichest (aka Toastie), and he was the right man to choose. Thank you Toastie, I love you dude, I shared my pain and grief with you and you came through for me. You have a place in my heart forever. Also, thank you to dear shady and OfTrollOrigins who worked it out on their own and sent me beautiful messages of condolence. Thanks guys, it meant the world to me.  I felt those virtual hugs deep within my hurting heart averagejoe, thank you. And thank you to Carl LaFong too. And carebear. 
This feels very private and I'm dealing with intense grief right now, but I want to tell the board. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, and I'm not ready to talk about the whole story, I'm still too raw, but I thought I would post my tribute / eulogy from the memorial service - which was a beautiful and very moving celebration of Sonja's life, verbatim. I think it will tell you how I am feeling right now. I have so much to take care of today and it's already 5.59am , so I won't be able to reply to anyone till later, but I will get back here by about lunchtime SA time. 

A TRIBUTE TO SONJA.

Sonja was the kindest, bravest, most stoic and uncomplaining person I have ever known. She was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside, she was fiercely intelligent, hugely empathetic, hard working, had a wonderful sense of humor and a shy smile which lit up my life every time I saw it. I loved her from the moment I first set eyes on her one night at the Eastern Province Herald building some 40 years ago. She was the love of my life.

I feel privileged to have had someone love and care for me so much and to be able to love her in return. Oh my, what an incredible journey it's been. It hasn't always been perfect, and there have been bumps along the way, but the last years have been so happy, so magical, that this has been a truly special time. I have known young love and old love with Sonja, and each has been equally precious. She was my friend, my lover and my soul mate.

The night Sonja passed away I was devastated and so sad, but I rose early the next morning in the predawn darkness, walked through to the lounge and opened the balcony door. Mere minutes later the sun came up over the bay, and it was the most spectacular and gorgeous sunrise I have seen in years. I felt Sonja's presence in the sunrise, and it was comforting.

Sonja - who worked as a sports sub editor at the Herald for many, many years under people like Stan T......... and Neil C......, loved her job and gave it her considerable all, she was interested in everything, and among other things she loved reading, she loved laughing, she loved music, she loved flowers and animals, she loved watching films and tv series with me and she loved to go grocery shopping; it always felt like an adventure. Because of my great passion for cinema Sonja trusted my choices and always wanted me to choose the movies we watched, but sometimes she would ask me to get a particular movie because she really wanted to watch it, and boy were her choices special. One day, during the COVID lockdown she asked me if I could get the late, legendary Italian filmmaker Frederico Fellini's 1954 masterpiece LA STRADA - starring Giulietta Masina as Gelsomina and Anthony Quinn as Zampano for us to watch. I had never seen it and watching it together with Sonja on that glorious day is a memory I will cherish forever. As you guys might recall, the sale of alcohol was forbidden in South Africa during the lockdown, but just before we started watching it we remembered we still had a bottle of fine, imported gin we had bought as a Christmas present for my brother and his wife. Well, we tore off the wrapping, opened that bottle of gin and were able to enjoy gin and tonics with a slice of lemon and some ice while we watched this extraordinary, utterly engrossing and involving film together.

I have never cried as much as I have cried over the last two weeks, it feels as if an essential part of me has gone. It hurts so much, but Sonja left me a roadmap for the future and I will go on, carrying her memory and the memories of the life we shared in my heart forever as I move forward.

You are all around me in our home Sonja. I hear you in my thoughts, I see you in my dreams, I feel your spirit, my darling, my darling. I love you so much. You were a beautiful person.

I would just like to thank Sonja's siblings, Robert, David and Tasha - all three of whom bore the brunt of my anguish and heartbreak during the time she was in hospital and the night she passed away, for the support they have given me over this period. I don't think I could have got through the days of late without you. Sonja loved you so much. I also want to thank my brother Andrew and his dear wife Jennifer for their support, you guys have really been here for me. And my brother Anthony, a realist, and brutally honest, whose intelligence - tinged with tough love, compassion, and experienced medical advice was invaluable to me. Also my friend Allan, and my friend Elmarie, both of whom knew not only what to say, but what not to say. I also want to give a shout out to Sonja's friends Erika and Clive in England, Eunice in Cape Town, Diana in Howick and the one and only Katie in Cape Town. Sonja loved you all. Also to the Morgans and Rory, especially to Gail and Paul. Also, to Twaib, a good man and the best taxi driver in Port Elizabeth. Sonja liked you so much.

Please forgive me if I have forgotten to mention anyone I should have mentioned.