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Post by ayatollah on Apr 3, 2024 18:03:54 GMT
That a very long way from "all men are suspected predators". That's the mind of paranoia, not society. Well, society was a bad choice of words. I didn't mean to say that everyone suspects men to be pedophiles but nevertheless, I do think it is a fairly commonly held mindset. Common enough to keep most men from becoming daycare workers, probably. And I agree it is a paranoia. It's not normal, but afaik it's not a "no-no". "Logically", a man working as a high school teacher should be more suspicious as probably a lot more men are hebephiles (attracted to teenagers) than pedophiles (prepubescent children). I don't think it's males being kept out, but lack of interest on the part of males and more interest on the part of females that leads to such jobs being primarily female. None of this has anything to do with the subject though.
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Post by Hnefahogg on Apr 3, 2024 19:19:05 GMT
Well, society was a bad choice of words. I didn't mean to say that everyone suspects men to be pedophiles but nevertheless, I do think it is a fairly commonly held mindset. Common enough to keep most men from becoming daycare workers, probably. And I agree it is a paranoia. "Logically", a man working as a high school teacher should be more suspicious as probably a lot more men are hebephiles (attracted to teenagers) than pedophiles (prepubescent children). I don't think it's males being kept out, but lack of interest on the part of males and more interest on the part of females that leads to such jobs being primarily female. None of this has anything to do with the subject though. My apologies. I kind of thought I was in the Soapbox.
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Post by risenmillard on Apr 3, 2024 23:44:58 GMT
Yikes this thread. I wonder at what age dudes stop seeing young girls as children. Evidently it's before 12. Or maybe as soon as they show an interest in boys, all that damage and baggage gets projected onto them and they're lumped in with some shitty woman that hurt them 🥴 Kind of an inherent issue with men, they see girls as women way too soon That's a concise meltie.
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Post by citrouille on Apr 4, 2024 0:48:12 GMT
lol!
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Post by citrouille on Apr 4, 2024 1:25:50 GMT
Good grief. What happened in your past to make you think that? She is reacting to the provocative title, which is what I wanted but she isn't responding to the subject, but her own imaginary boogeymen. Breaking news! Super Logical™️ Men don't react well to gendered generalizations after making gendered generalizations At least mine wasn't at the expense of my wife and kid tho
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Post by ayatollah on Apr 4, 2024 2:10:51 GMT
She is reacting to the provocative title, which is what I wanted but she isn't responding to the subject, but her own imaginary boogeymen. Breaking news! Super Logical™️ Men don't react well to gendered generalizations after making gendered generalizations At least mine wasn't at the expense of my wife and kid tho I reacted very well, unemotionally and logically and most important, truthfully. There was no generalization at the expense of my kid, it was the truth about her decision.
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Post by Roxy on Apr 4, 2024 2:54:03 GMT
I know you’re replying to a post that includes some generalizations, but to refocus on the original narrative and get your opinion on it: I’m quite sure ayatollah, as a father, is responsible for his fucked up priorities of holding I TOLD YA SO bragging rights above his daughter’s happiness and emotional health. And if he, as an individual, could see his daughter as his *twelve year-old* daughter and a shy young girl, rather than as some smaller version of his wife/her mother, he might just free himself up to fathom that boys are going to like who they’re going to like, girls are going to like who they’re going to like; it’s not something you can control and it leads to middle school heartbreak. His job in this moment is to be there with a hug and his best efforts to bring light where there is disappointment. What say you, Soul? No, my job to is help her not make bad decisions. That's what I did. A shitty parent reinforces the bad decisions, telling a the child "Aw, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong." and the kid continues in life thinking "Yeah, that behavior is okay". There was no bad decision on deck, hun. A bad decision would’ve been her telling that boy or the other “I want to be your girlfriend. Meet me behind the gym. I’ll do anything you want.” She liked a boy who hasn’t really noticed her which is fortuitous since she’s too young to date anyway. Her paying another nice kid a compliment and laughing at his joke attempt is not a bad decision. To say so is to be overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving. You know what happens to daughters of men who are overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving? They meet guys behind the gym and let them do anything in a quest for approval.
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Post by Roxy on Apr 4, 2024 4:11:18 GMT
She is reacting to the provocative title, which is what I wanted but she isn't responding to the subject, but her own imaginary boogeymen. Breaking news! Super Logical™️ Men don't react well to gendered generalizations after making gendered generalizations At least mine wasn't at the expense of my wife and kid tho To be fair to you and because I did mentioned generalizations, the part you outlined about men with baggage projecting onto a girl the damage they’ve incurred from women in their lives is quite apt and specific to the posts of at least a couple/few men who have weighed in regarding this ongoing complete non-saga of ayatollah’s apparently sweet, shy kid. We can only hope since he has this board to vent on 💩 that he’s freed up to be understanding and supportive of her in reality. 🤞
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Post by citrouille on Apr 4, 2024 6:27:21 GMT
Yes. That's why we keep men away from children for the most part. They really can't be trusted. Good grief. What happened in your past to make you think that? I know men are incapable of empathizing with a situation unless the exact thing happened to them... but just look around the world. There are so many predators (the huge majority male) that we have to be very cautious about allowing men around children at all. I'm sure when you walk by a playground you try not to look because you don't want to be seen as a creeper. And you don't get upset about having to do this because it's a reality that there are many creepers out there who look just like you (male, middle-aged/old). In most situations where men are given unfettered access to children, one or more will take advantage of it. I don't know what's wrong with your gender tbh but it's just depressing at this point
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Post by citrouille on Apr 4, 2024 6:30:08 GMT
Breaking news! Super Logical™️ Men don't react well to gendered generalizations after making gendered generalizations At least mine wasn't at the expense of my wife and kid tho To be fair to you and because I did mentioned generalizations, the part you outlined about men with baggage projecting onto a girl the damage they’ve incurred from women in their lives is quite apt and specific to the posts of at least a couple/few men who have weighed in regarding this ongoing complete non-saga of ayatollah’s apparently sweet, shy kid. We can only hope since he has this board to vent on 💩 that he’s freed up to be understanding and supportive of her in reality. 🤞 I think he's said before that venting here prevents him from venting to someone in his life, after which there would be consequences. I don't think he's a bad guy, he's just often charmingly bewildered by human behavior You are right, this is an absolute non-event but what a great thread!
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Post by ayatollah on Apr 4, 2024 10:16:41 GMT
No, my job to is help her not make bad decisions. That's what I did. A shitty parent reinforces the bad decisions, telling a the child "Aw, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong." and the kid continues in life thinking "Yeah, that behavior is okay". There was no bad decision on deck, hun. A bad decision would’ve been her telling that boy or the other “I want to be your girlfriend. Meet me behind the gym. I’ll do anything you want.” She liked a boy who hasn’t really noticed her which is fortuitous since she’s too young to date anyway. Her paying another nice kid a compliment and laughing at his joke attempt is not a bad decision. To say so is to be overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving. You know what happens to daughters of men who are overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving? They meet guys behind the gym and let them do anything in a quest for approval. I'm not overly critical. I just told her it's not a good idea to make someone think you like them when you actually don't. Nothing overly critical about that.
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Post by ayatollah on Apr 4, 2024 10:20:37 GMT
To be fair to you and because I did mentioned generalizations, the part you outlined about men with baggage projecting onto a girl the damage they’ve incurred from women in their lives is quite apt and specific to the posts of at least a couple/few men who have weighed in regarding this ongoing complete non-saga of ayatollah’s apparently sweet, shy kid. We can only hope since he has this board to vent on 💩 that he’s freed up to be understanding and supportive of her in reality. 🤞 I think he's said before that venting here prevents him from venting to someone in his life, after which there would be consequences. I don't think he's a bad guy, he's just often charmingly bewildered by human behavior You are right, this is an absolute non-event but what a great thread! Advising a kid that her kiddish plan isn't a good plan isn't being bewildered. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't work, and it didn't.
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Post by Flying Monkeys on Apr 4, 2024 10:25:33 GMT
There was no bad decision on deck, hun. A bad decision would’ve been her telling that boy or the other “I want to be your girlfriend. Meet me behind the gym. I’ll do anything you want.” She liked a boy who hasn’t really noticed her which is fortuitous since she’s too young to date anyway. Her paying another nice kid a compliment and laughing at his joke attempt is not a bad decision. To say so is to be overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving. You know what happens to daughters of men who are overly critical and unnecessarily disapproving? They meet guys behind the gym and let them do anything in a quest for approval. I'm not overly critical. I just told her it's not a good idea to make someone think you like them when you actually don't. Nothing overly critical about that. Who the hell are you to advise on matters of children? So you're a father of two. So what? Listen to the person who has no children - they know better!
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Post by citrouille on Apr 4, 2024 12:33:57 GMT
I think he's said before that venting here prevents him from venting to someone in his life, after which there would be consequences. I don't think he's a bad guy, he's just often charmingly bewildered by human behavior You are right, this is an absolute non-event but what a great thread! Advising a kid that her kiddish plan isn't a good plan isn't being bewildered. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't work, and it didn't. I honestly don't have any issue with the advice you gave your kid. You know your kid better than us and it's kinda your role as a dad to give advice. It's posting it here and the way you phrased it, like she's an idiot or something, that I find distasteful. I'm used to you slagging off your wife on the boards, but your kid? You're starting to talk about her the same way. That's why I was wondering aloud about at what point men start seeing girls as women. (You weren't the only one posting as if a child should have the mind of a grown woman either.) I think a few people were imagining how mortified they would feel if their dad talked like this about them.
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Post by ayatollah on Apr 4, 2024 15:01:48 GMT
Advising a kid that her kiddish plan isn't a good plan isn't being bewildered. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't work, and it didn't. I honestly don't have any issue with the advice you gave your kid. You know your kid better than us and it's kinda your role as a dad to give advice. It's posting it here and the way you phrased it, like she's an idiot or something, that I find distasteful. I'm used to you slagging off your wife on the boards, but your kid? You're starting to talk about her the same way. That's why I was wondering aloud about at what point men start seeing girls as women. (You weren't the only one posting as if a child should have the mind of a grown woman either.) I think a few people were imagining how mortified they would feel if their dad talked like this about them. Kids are naturally clueless about a lot of things, stop pretending to be horrified, you know it's true and you knew it before you read this thread. My wife's quick agreement with my daughter's idea makes me think it's natural for females to react to uninterested males this way.
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